Imperfect, Therefore Beautiful III

Name: Imperfect, Therefore Beautiful III
ISBN: 9787559628961

海蓝博士Beijing United Publishing Co., Ltd. · ChinaApr 2019

3.3

Word count: 166K words
Chapters: 81
ISBN: 9787559628961

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Summary

This is a concise and practical self-help tool for managing emotions. All the cases are drawn from real life today. By commenting on and analyzing the key moments in these cases, the book explains and demonstrates specific ways to sort through common emotions in 12 everyday situations, such as: 1. How do you keep your bad temper in check? 2. How do you overcome burnout syndrome? 3. How do you choose between future career development and real life? 4. How do you ease your social pressure? 5. How do you deal with anxiety about changing jobs, paying off a mortgage, and your child's education? 6. How do you relieve financial pressure? 7. How do you turn low self-esteem into confidence? 8. What if you fear rejection or fear being rejected? 9. How do you find the right partner? 10. After losing love, how do you find a way forward? 11. How do you nurture your intimate relationship? 12. If you had only three months to live, what would you most want? The aim is to help readers see the patterns behind individual cases and, through other people's stories, reflect on their own emotional pitfalls, emotional wounds, and the sources of their emotions. At the same time, they learn why their emotions arise, what harm they do, how they affect people, and how to resolve them. It is a remarkable book to read together with one's own soul, letting ordinary people caught up every day in joys and sorrows, worries and confusion see love and see that this world is truly worth it.

Editor's review

Unperfect, Beautiful III is Dr. Hai Lan's latest work in the "Unperfect" series. It continues her consistent warm, healing style while going deeper into the core territory of individual and family relationships. Unlike the previous volumes, which focused on personal emotion management, this book systematically examines the hidden yet profound influences within families of origin, intimate relationships, and parent-child interactions. With her deep grounding in psychology and extensive counseling experience, Dr. Hai Lan does not offer simple "chicken soup for the soul" comfort; she guides readers through a calm self-examination and reconstruction of relationships. Drawing extensively on real cases, the book reveals how family interaction patterns are passed down across generations and how, by understanding and accepting this "imperfect" inheritance, we can break the cycle and create new emotional bonds. Its value lies in providing an actionable framework for psychological analysis and communication tools that help readers, after seeing the truth of their relationships, retain the courage and wisdom to repair and grow. For modern people who feel confused, powerless, or trapped in repeating the same difficulties in family relationships, this book is like a detailed map of relationships and a gentle guiding light.

Who it's for

A good fit for

Readers who feel confused in their family of origin or intimate relationships and want to clarify their emotional patterns
Parents who want to improve parent-child communication and build a healthier family atmosphere
Learners interested in psychology and family systems theory who seek insights for personal growth
Individuals who often feel drained in relationships and long to establish clearer boundaries and deeper connections

Not a good fit for

Readers looking for quick "techniques" or universal formulas to solve problems
Readers with a strong psychological resistance to deep self-examination and discussion of family issues

Reading tips

Read the chapters in order, pausing at sections that resonate deeply to reflect in light of your own experience
Try discussing some of the book's ideas with a trusted family member or partner in an open, non-judgmental way
If reading stirs up strong emotions, put the book down for a while and take care of yourself through writing or other means

About the publisher

Beijing United Publishing Co., Ltd. China · Founded in 1993

Beijing United Publishing Co., Ltd. is a publisher known for its literature and history titles, with 2,065 books in the collection. Its publishing covers foreign literature, contemporary Chinese prose and essays, history, folk literature, and cultural books. Its list ranges from Sima Qian's complete edition of the Records of the Grand Historian to foreign classics such as The Book of Disquiet, All Quiet on the Western Front, Snow Country, The Stranger, and Jean-Christophe, as well as modern Chinese works including Teahouse and Dawn Blossoms Plucked at Dusk. Its authors and translators include Yasunari Kawabata, Fernando Pessoa, Erich Maria Remarque, Jin Xinyi, Zhou Miao, and Chen Chao. Public information is limited, but its catalogue reflects a balance between Chinese and foreign literary classics and historical and cultural works.

版权信息
海蓝博士
自序不学会处理情绪，既不能善待自己，也不能善待他人，更不会好好活在当下
第一堂课如何控制住你的坏脾气
一、关于负面情绪，你最想解决哪一种
二、不认清发脾气的三大误区，就会不断受伤
三、如何梳理坏脾气
四、实操练习：剥洋葱情绪梳理法，一用就灵
总结发脾气不是小事，是关乎幸福、生死的大事
延伸阅读学会跟负面情绪做朋友
第二堂课什么是最适合你的工作
一、你是否患有“职业倦怠综合征”
二、什么原因导致你职业倦怠
三、做自己喜欢的、擅长的、能为他人创造价值的事
四、如何找到自己喜欢并擅长的工作
五、实操练习：在工作中如何实现真正的价值
总结所有的选择都有代价，放弃其实是一种能力
延伸阅读有方向，在路上，何其幸福
第三堂课如何做出符合内心的选择
一、你内心究竟想要什么？你可以为之付出的努力是什么
二、未来职业发展和现实生活责任之间，该如何选择
三、一般人做选择的时候，容易陷入哪四大误区
四、实操练习：“指南针选择法”帮你做出符合内心期待的选择
总结选择比努力更重要
延伸阅读指南针选择法的应用指导
第四堂课如何缓解你的社交压力
一、人类最害怕的事情中，排在第一的是面对公众讲话
二、实操练习：自助缓解社交焦虑
总结说让关系靠近的话，做让关系靠近的事，利人利己才是硬道理
延伸阅读愿你善待自己
第五堂课如何应对生活中的担忧和焦虑
一、总是对未来有灾难化的想法，认为自己无法应对怎么办
二、化解生活中的担忧与焦虑
总结担忧未来是因为我们给自己编造了一个恐怖故事
延伸阅读如何用“拆弹法”化解健康焦虑
第六堂课如何化解你的金钱压力
一、为什么现在的人无论是否拥有物质，都缺乏安全感
二、物欲追求者为什么忧心忡忡
三、实操练习：如何用“拨云见日三步法”解决物欲追求者的忧心忡忡
总结在考虑物质需求的时候，用“需要”而不是“想要”
延伸阅读当你做一件对的事时，世界也会为你让路
第七堂课如何将自卑转化为自信
一、没有一个人希望自己是不自信的
二、每个人生来都是自信的，为什么后来走了样
三、实操练习：360度看到自卑全相，将自卑转化为自信
延伸阅读一《部分心理学》：愿用最有效的方法帮助你化解痛苦
延伸阅读二 “优秀到没朋友”
延伸阅读三如何安抚自卑带给自己的痛苦
第八堂课怕被拒绝，如何勇敢say no
一、怕拒绝和怕被拒绝怎么办
二、人为什么害怕拒绝和被拒绝
三、不害怕拒绝和被拒绝的终极解决方案
总结一切的核心都在于你自己的状态
延伸阅读从不会拒绝的“好人”到助人成长的教练
第九堂课找到适合自己的爱人
一、是什么阻碍了我们找到真正适合的爱人
二、对婚姻有深刻的恐惧，不敢走进婚姻
三、实操练习：用“5+3”标本兼治法，爱就可能心想事成
总结亲密关系中真正的功夫在如何相处得久远
延伸阅读幸福生活需要完美爱人来给予吗
第十堂课失爱后的“柳暗花明法”
一、人为什么会失爱
二、很难忘记前任，失去后不知如何再开始
三、失爱之人的三大误区
四、把自己变成一幅“锦绣”，想锦上添花的人一直很多
总结各种失爱的痛苦，是因为我们还没有学会恋上自己
延伸阅读失爱后，如何应对愤怒的情绪
第十一堂课如何滋养你的亲密关系
一、爱对你来说，意味着什么
二、爱分为浪漫期、矛盾期、整合期、承诺期、共同创造期
三、爱有“三要三不要”
总结亲密关系就像双人舞，不要只想自己想得到的
第十二堂课如果生命只剩三个月，你最想要什么
一、到底什么才是你想要的幸福
二、幸福分五种
总结幸福，就是与一切不如意和平相处的能力
延伸阅读一幸福，就是做自己喜欢的事
延伸阅读二从静观练习中，享受感官愉悦
延伸阅读三支持自己，爱上自己，在困难的时候托举自己
后记
大家评论

FAQ

I haven't read the first two books. Can I start with the third?

Yes. This book's theme stands relatively on its own, focusing on family relationships. Although it continues the series' core philosophy, its content is self-contained, and new readers can enter it smoothly and gain insights.

Is this book very theoretical? Is it hard to understand?

Dr. Hai Lan excels at translating professional psychological knowledge into accessible language and supports it with many cases. The theoretical discussions are clear and easy to follow, posing no obstacle for general readers.

What specific problems can this book help solve?

This book mainly helps readers understand the roots of family conflict, improve communication in intimate relationships, handle emotional entanglements with parents or children, build a sense of self-worth within relationships, and foster a virtuous cycle in relationships.

Comments

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About the author

海蓝博士 Author

Dr. Hai Lan is an author known for writing on applied psychology and inspirational personal growth. Her publicly available personal information is currently limited, with no clear records of her nationality, dates of birth and death, or educational background. The library holds six of her works, including Partial Psychology and the "Imperfect, That's Beautiful" series, which comprises the single volume Imperfect, That's Beautiful, the two-volume collection Imperfect, That's Beautiful Series, Imperfect, That's Beautiful II: Emotions Determine Destiny, Imperfect, That's Beautiful III, and a three-volume set. These works show that her writing centers on themes such as self-acceptance, emotional management, and psychological growth. They are aimed at general readers who wish to improve their mental state and learn to live with their own imperfections, and her style tends toward accessible psychological self-help and life reflection.