The Game of Love cover

The Game of Love

Rating 4.2
Word count
134K words
Chapters
23
ISBN
9787573907806

Tags

Summary

Spot the subtle signs of cooling love, take the initiative in intimate relationships, and actively defuse trust crises in marriage.

Editor's review

This book takes the hardest-to-articulate parts of intimate relationships—how trust erodes bit by bit and how crises quietly accumulate—and breaks them into observable, discussable signals. Grounded in long-term couples research, the author offers neither generic emotional platitudes nor vague comfort, but clues for recognizing a relationship cooling and paths for restorative conversation. The analysis of conflict patterns and of how trust is built and rebuilt moves readers from "something feels off" to "I know what's off and what can be done." It suits those whose relationship is still workable but vaguely uneasy, and couples already experiencing friction or distance who can read it together. It is not a guide to staying together or splitting up, but a toolkit for seeing interaction habits clearly and practicing listening and responding anew. The prose is plain, the cases close to daily life, and you may find yourself marking passages that make your heart tighten.

Who it's for

A good fit for

  • Couples in a stable relationship who feel communication and intimacy declining
  • Married readers going through a trust crisis who want to sort things out rationally
  • General readers interested in relationship psychology and empirical research
  • Counselors and marriage therapists seeking a reference

Not a good fit for

  • Readers hoping for quick reconciliation or tactics to manipulate a partner
  • Situations involving violence, addiction, or other issues requiring professional intervention
  • Those who want light emotional essays and no reflective exercises

Reading tips

  1. Start with the chapters on trust-erosion signals and conflict patterns, then make a nonjudgmental observation record of your own relationship.
  2. Read it separately with your partner, then set a time to discuss just one concept from the book, so reading doesn't turn into mutual blame.
  3. After each chapter, write down one small action you can change yourself rather than demanding the other change first.
  4. When a case hits hard, pause and ask: is there a similar cycle in our relationship?

About the publisher

Zhejiang Science and Technology Publishing House is a comprehensive science and technology publisher known for academic monographs, applied technology titles and popular science books, with a focus on three areas: scholarship, popular science and science education. Judging from the books in the catalog, its publishing covers popular science, medicine, management, social psychology, Eastern philosophy and personal finance. It publishes works by overseas authors such as Douglas Hofstadter, Atul Gawande and Carlota Perez alongside Chinese writers including Liu Jian, Hu Hai, Wang Yifang and Peng Xiaohua. Representative titles include Surfaces and Essences: Analogy as the Fuel and Fire of Thinking, Being Mortal, Technological Revolutions and Financial Capital, A Short History of the Human Body (full-color illustrated edition), and Gawande's Better and Complications, spanning cognitive science, medical humanities and the social dimensions of technology. Its distinctive approach is to connect scholarship and the general reader through popular science, valuing both ideas and readability. As public information is limited, this profile is drawn only from the books in the catalog.

Contents

  1. 版权信息
  2. 中文版序 是什么让我们在一起
  3. 前言 爱的毒药与解药
  4. 第一部分 洞悉两性关系的真相
  5. 01 信任困境 信任还是不信任
  6. 02 三个盒子的选择 亲密关系的情绪收藏
  7. 03 欺骗的迷雾 从可能到事实的出轨路线图
  8. 04 男人与性 与性背叛有关
  9. 05 背叛的10种方式 从精神出轨到消极对比
  10. 第一部分 塑造更坚韧的关系
  11. 06 情绪协调 信任与和谐的基石
  12. 07 集体独白的困局 实现亲密对话的艺术
  13. 08 “滑动门时刻”的博弈 向伴侣靠近
  14. 09 戈特曼-拉波波特蓝图 让冲突讨论富有建设性
  15. 10 出轨概率 出轨的预测及修复
  16. 11 距离与美的谬误 婚姻中的性爱地图
  17. 12 “我们”和“我” 应该放手的时刻
  18. 13 零和婚姻的救赎 重新学习信任
  19. 14 真爱矩阵 你是否拥有值得信任的真爱
  20. 附录1 亲密对话的4个补充技能
  21. 附录2 冲突解决工具包
  22. 附录3 为什么不做爱了:从博弈论开始的分析
  23. 译者后记

FAQ

If we don't have a serious crisis, is this book overkill?
No. The book focuses on the subtle, everyday process by which trust is worn down; early recognition is far easier than repair after a crisis erupts. Reading while things are still okay makes it easier to stay calm and apply the observational framework in ordinary times, rather than scrambling for answers mid-argument.
Is this book suitable for single readers?
It can be read, but the benefit depends on your purpose. If you want to understand the mechanics of trust in intimate relationships and reflect on your own interaction patterns, it will be illuminating; if you expect to solve a current partner problem, you lack a practice subject. Single readers can treat it as relationship awareness prep, not a matchmaking guide.
Will reading it together cause more arguments?
It may, and the key is how you set it up. Read and take notes separately first, then choose a calm time to discuss only the book's concepts—no dredging up the past, no judging right or wrong. If discussion escalates into conflict, read separately for now, or use the book's conversation framework with a counselor present.

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About the author

John Gottman is a psychology author known for his work on intimate relationships and emotions. Publicly available information about him is limited, and his nationality, dates of birth and death, and educational background are unknown. Six of his works are included in the collection, with representative titles such as The Communication of Love, The Game of Love, The Conflict of Love, The Communication of Love: A Scientific Dating Guide for Men, and The Seven Faces of People. These works fall mainly under applied psychology and social psychology and center on how partners communicate, handle conflict, recognize emotions, and maintain relationships. His writing tends to turn research observations into practical advice, using accessible language and closely linking examples with situations. The subtitle of The Communication of Love: A Scientific Dating Guide for Men indicates that it addresses a specific readership and discusses love and getting along from a scientific perspective, while The Seven Faces of People extends the focus to broader emotional and interpersonal recognition. Overall, Gottman's writing emphasizes the interactive details and emotional mechanisms of relationships and is suitable for general readers who wish to understand how intimate relationships work.

Nan Silver is the author of the book The Mathematics of Love. Public information about her is currently limited: her English name, nationality, and dates of birth and death are not clearly recorded, and only one of her works is included in the collection. Judging from the psychology-application category to which The Mathematics of Love belongs, she focuses on the psychological mechanisms of interpersonal relationships and emotional interaction. Her writing is aimed at general readers and tends to present issues of intimate relationships from a psychological perspective in an accessible way. Such works usually start from everyday situations and help readers understand the motivations behind emotional choices. Because verifiable biographical information is scarce, readers know her writing orientation and areas of interest mainly through this work itself.

穆君 Author

Mu Jun is an author about whom limited public information is available. Little confirmed detail can be found, and the representative work associated with this name is The Game of Love. Judging from the known category, the book is a work of applied psychology that explores the psychological mechanisms and interaction patterns in emotional relationships, aimed at general readers who wish to understand how intimate relationships work. In writing, the author tends to combine psychological concepts with everyday emotional situations, presenting questions of choice, judgment, and communication in relationships in an accessible way, so that the content is both informative and readable. Although Mu Jun's biography, nationality, and educational background are not clearly documented, and only one work is known, The Game of Love already reflects the author's focus and style within the field of applied psychology, offering readers a reference point for understanding emotional interaction.

伏维 Author

Fu Wei is a writer about whom limited public information is available, and is known for the representative work The Game of Love. At present, no clear records have been found regarding Fu Wei's nationality, dates of birth and death, educational background, or personal experience, and only one work by this author is held in the collection, so understanding of the author and the writing rests mainly on this book. The Game of Love is classified as applied psychology; judging from the title and category, the work likely focuses on psychological interaction, choice, and getting along in intimate relationships, reflecting an approach that applies psychological knowledge to everyday emotional life. Writing of this kind usually emphasizes clear concepts, cases close to real life, and readability, helping readers gain practical reference while understanding how relationships work. Given the limited materials, it is difficult to judge Fu Wei's overall creative trajectory or stylistic development, and it cannot be confirmed whether the author has other writings or long-term writing plans. For readers, a prudent approach is to regard Fu Wei as an author working in applied psychology, to observe the questions and modes of expression through The Game of Love, and to watch for updates in publicly available information.

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