Winning People Over with Propriety
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Summary
Editor's review
From an editorial perspective, the book's value lies in its effort to integrate traditional etiquette with modern life scenarios. It is not a simple manual of etiquette rules but attempts to uncover the cultural connotations and philosophical reflections behind "li," emphasizing that its core is respect and harmony. The book cites numerous classical texts and historical allusions, enhancing the depth and credibility of the content. However, its writing style leans toward the plain narration of a popular reader, with limited academic rigor, making it more suitable as an introductory text for general education.
For contemporary readers, revisiting the wisdom of "winning people with courtesy" is of practical significance amid increasingly complex interpersonal relationships and an accelerating social pace. The book helps readers understand that etiquette is not merely an external form but an expression of inner cultivation, contributing to personal charm and effective communication. It should be noted, however, that some content is based on traditional social contexts; readers should engage in critical thinking and flexible application in light of today's social environment.
Who it's for
A good fit for
- General readers interested in traditional Chinese etiquette culture who wish to understand its basic connotations and development
- Working professionals or socially active individuals seeking to enhance personal cultivation and social skills and improve interpersonal relationships
- Practitioners in service, education, public relations, and similar fields who need systematic etiquette knowledge to support their work
- Parents or educators looking for reference reading suitable for youth etiquette education
Not a good fit for
- Professional scholars seeking in-depth academic research or rigorous historical verification
- Readers expecting a guide based entirely on the Western modern etiquette system or highly fashion-oriented social skills
Reading tips
- Read through the whole book first to grasp the overall framework and core spirit of traditional etiquette, then closely read relevant chapters according to your own needs
- Relate the reading to real life and consider which essences of traditional etiquette can be adapted to modern scenarios
- If interested, do further reading on the historical allusions and classical quotations mentioned in the book to deepen understanding
About the publisher
Jilin Publishing Group Co., Ltd. focuses on fine fiction, social sciences, literary appreciation, history, classical poetry and classical literature, with 1,141 titles in the library. Representative books include Dan Simmons's science fiction novels Hyperion and The Fall of Hyperion, Freud's works on psychology and society such as The Ego and the Id and Group Psychology, and classical literature ranging from Laozi and Zhuangzi, Romance of the Three Kingdoms and Three Hundred Poems of the Tang, Song and Yuan Dynasties to Lü Simian's A General History of China. Its authors include Dan Simmons, Freud, Laozi, Lü Simian, Hengtang Tuishi, Pan Zhenhua, Li Yi and Guan Shanming, reflecting a balance between translated works and domestic editions. Public information is limited; the above is based on the library's holdings.
Contents
- 版权信息
- 前言
- 第一章 以曲为直，峰回路转
- 1．以退为进，说话棋高一着
- 2．先放后收，语言张弛得宜
- 3．委婉暗示，遇矛盾巧周旋
- 4．借题发挥，巧言暗渡陈仓
- 5．沉默是金，无声胜于雄辩
- 6．旁敲侧击：别把话太明说
- 7．正话反说，变幻说话角度
- 8．双关曲解，真伪意思交织
- 9．借题发挥，一笑巧解难题
- 第二章 寻找话题，巧妙布局
- 1．找准对方感兴趣的话题
- 2．透过话题把握对方的思想
- 3．选准话题要及时了解听者的心理
- 4．选择的话题要适应对方性格
- 5．先揣摸对方心理然后说话
- 6．尽量回避或不提敏感话题
- 7．选择话题要注意不同场合
- 8．激发兴趣，制造话题
- 第三章 表意曲折，迂中伸直
- 1．话语传神，直在迂中伸
- 2．表意曲折兜圈子
- 3．反弹琵琶用“荒谬放大镜”
- 4．藏锋处鬼神莫测其渊
- 5．颠来倒去用语幽默
- 6．润物无声，美言软说
- 7．巧拉关系，绕弯周旋
- 第四章 讲究艺术，话外有音
- 1．庄话谐说：正事笑着说
- 2．明话暗说：话中还有话
- 3．近话远说：绕弯表心意
- 4．深话浅说：有刺藏棉中
- 5．己话他说：利用他人嘴
- 6．话外有话，款款细语蕴玄机
- 7．迂回劝诱，机智问答服众人
- 8．巧言说服，话外有音生意成
- 9．说话艺术，劝人自有周旋计
- 10．语言巧妙，让人心服口服
- 第五章 含蓄隐晦，佯装糊涂
- 1．含蓄隐晦：说话不可太露骨
- 2．生搬硬套：歪理须得歪答对
- 3．大词小用：运词混账寓意雅
- 4．刻意误解：顺水推舟巧应对
- 5．软中带硬：杀硬汉子用软刀
- 6．佯装糊涂：把自己的耳目遮起来
- 7．含蓄点题，巧断是非恩怨
- 8．曲意直陈，说服伟人首肯
- 9．妙语曲说，辩论也有智慧
- 10．隐去直意，曲话说明道理
- 第六章 随机应变，巧妙周旋
- 1．步出窘境，以变应变
- 2．委婉化解意外尴尬
- 3．补救失言有学问
- 4．灵活应对别人的奚落
- 5．被羞辱时要把握应对的分寸
- 6．面对纠缠时如何“挡驾”
- 7．摆脱“二难”问题的圈套
- 8．巧妙回避“敏感话题”
- 9．莫触及别人的绝对隐私
- 10．学会在为难时说“不”
- 11．间接指出他人的错误
- 12．记得保全对方的面子
- 13．挽回面子有4招
- 14．学会用语言抚慰他人
- 15．不叫祸患从口出
- 16．此时无声胜有声
- 第七章 机智出言，交际有术
- 1．交际中如何实现“平等对话”
- 2．绕过语言陷阱
- 3．避讳一定有方法
- 4．自嘲可以维护自尊
- 5．改变不利局面的几种方法
- 6．你需要应付这几种人
- 7．迅速转移话题
- 8．以变应变的要诀
- 9．机智化解突发情况
- 10．保持稳定的情绪
- 11．把咄咄逼人的话“逼”回去
- 12．小心使用语言的附加意义
- 13．绕远路的会先抵达终点
- 14．巧妙调解他人纠纷
- 第八章 巧言曲语，斗智斗谋
- 1．环顾左右，迂回入题
- 2．察言观色，话语投机
- 3．寻找突破的临界点
- 4．心理攻略，妙语服人
- 5．智语巧言，斗智斗谋
- 6．以退为进的策略
- 7．黑白脸搭台戏好唱
- 8．“谎言”有时更有效
- 9．谈判中的回答技巧
- 第九章 以情感人，打动听众
- 1．富有激情，以真情打动人心
- 2．情之所至，金石也能为之所开
- 3．入情入理，尊重坦诚地以情说服
- 4．善于自嘲，营造和谐的交谈气氛
- 5．一语双关，含蓄中透出风趣生动
- 6．驾驭语气，使自己的语言千姿百态
- 7．妙用语调，抑扬顿挫地感染听者
- 第十章 巧加赞美，以心换心
- 1．渴望赞美来自人性的本源
- 2．适度的赞美是成功交往的催化剂
- 3．美誉之辞一定要发自内心的诚意
- 4．赞美别人一定要讲究策略
- 5．赞美他人的五种方法
- 6．赞美他人的六个要点
- 7．“高帽子”在交往中的妙用
- 第十一章 诚信相求，情到心动
- 1．以诚相求，至诚话语动人心
- 2．以礼相求，别有滋味在心头
- 3．以情相求，感情融洽办难事
- 4．以泪相求，吐露真情遂人意
- 5．以私相求，语言转换有技巧
- 6．以跪相求，感天动地难拒绝
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About the author
The Editorial Board of the "Si Te" (Four Specials) Education Series is the compiling body behind a series of education books launched by Jilin Publishing Group Co., Ltd. in 2012. Guided by the principle of "specific targets, special treatment, special methods, and case-specific analysis," the series covers topics such as school management, teachers' professional development, students' quality education, and the organization of campus activities, with Xiao Feng, Jiang Zhongzhe, and others involved as chief editors. The library holds 158 works by this editorial board, including representative titles such as Quality Education for Students' Creativity, Quality Education for Students' Scientific Literacy, Effective Ways to Learn, Getting Along with Students, and Education for Students' Character, with education as the common category. Public information is limited, and no systematic record of the board's specific membership or operations is available; its compiling focus is on practical reading materials for school education practice, serving both as reference for teachers' work and as support for cultivating students' competencies.
